Today’s Inquirer headline brings me back to sex stories.
I’m not talking about Literotica: I think that animal-related euphemisms for genitalia are confined to the American mindset. I’m not talking about erotic literature either: I’m talking about Filipino porn stories in the tabloids at the back of the news stands, smack right next to the lotto numbers and the horse race results.
Forget “pussy,” where “puke” would do better. “Cock” is too… avian, sosyalin, that one would use the more masculine, brusko term: “tarugo.” The act of intercourse isn’t “making love” or “fucking,” but appeals to the war-like state of mind of a man with a raging erection, and a woman with insatiable sexual appetites… but first…
A break tag.
I said shoo. Oh well, now that you went this far…
“Mahalay ang titig ko sa piging ng kamunduhan na nakahiga sa harap ko. Ang kanyang mala-labanos na balat, ang kanyang mala-rosas na utong na nakatutok sa kalawakan. Napatitig ako sa bulbol na nagtatago sa kanyang namamagang tinggil at malabulaklak na kepyas. Dali-dali akong umakya sa kanyang katawan, na kay tagal ko nang pinagnanasaan. Una ko pang makita ang kanyang tunay na alindog nang una ko siyang nasilip na naliligo. Di ako nag-atubili; lumusong ang aking malabakal na sandata sa mamasa-masang yungib ng kanyang tagong paraiso ng kaligayahan, na parang wala nang bukas. Aking hinaplos, sinipsip, ang kanyang malamlam na boobs. Sa bawat kayod at brotsa ng aking tarugo sa kanyang puke ay naramdaman ko ang katas ng kanyang pagkababae, na kay tagal ko nang pinaghuhumalingan. Di ako tumigil hanggang nagpaputok ang aking siyete-pulgada ng tamod na para lamang sa kanya.”
I won’t bother translating that into English.
Now before I get arrested for “spreading obscenity,” let me explain: from at least one feminist perspective, the sex story – not erotica – has always been the “hidden shame” of female domination by men. Yet it plays on damn funny wordplay: I doubt that anyone would think of paragraphs detailing sexual exploits while in the act of sex (that would be pathetic). There are those who would argue that even hastily-written erotica like the one I made awhile ago has its merits, and there are some who may think that it’s downright stupid. For me, it’s masturbating with the metaphor, the dark humor of porn that triggers the outright comedy of pornography.
When you take the sex story literally, it’s almost always certainly ridiculous. They’re easily summarized as “making love,” or “rape,” for that matter, but the sex story lends itself well to the comedy of the literary. I have to confess: it’s damn funny, too.
I won’t be making beer money writing porn on a freelance basis, but it just lends itself well to funniness and good LOL after a bad day.