So I was watching that video from that 1981 Lito Lapid hit “San Basilio,” and I figured that all the commitments made at AkoMismo – sincere and patriotic as they are – are small fry. See, if this country will ever have progress, we all need to be Julio Valiente. All these small-fry promises we’ll make will not change this country and put us in first world status by 2020. The way I see it, we should stop looking at “little things we can do.” Guys, little things suck and blow at the same time. Let’s look at big, action-packed things that involve us being proactive.
We need to look at the shit, yo.
In the interest of this so-called grassroots pledges made in the name of a better Philippines… we all need to be a Julio Valiente. To prove that all these small promises will not get rid of bad guys, let me refer to my marginal notes…
00:31 – usual gun demo
00:40 – gun flip sequences
00:59 – machetes bound together like Kratos knife
01:04 – machete push-pull sequences
01:10 – airborne machetes return to back
01:30 – one machete swung around like a lasso and proceeds to behead dummies
02:12 – throwing knives straight to hearts of dummies
02:30 – Michael Bolton sequence
03:30 – yet Michael Bolton sequence
04:20 – kills 3 people (ooh, 4:20, three of my favorite numbers)
04:29 – 3 people
04:55 – Julio Valiente shoots man straight at forehead in (doh) emoticon mode
04:58 – Julio Valiente shoots man straight at forehead in (doh) emoticon mode, effectively shooting off the hat in the process
05:02 – Julio shoots man in sternum, performing imitation Tony Manero pose
05:11 – Julio takes off, horse gallops to kill 3 people with patting them on the back with a machete
05:18 – two requisite contrabidas run off
05:22 – notice that man dies before getting shot
05:25 – again, note the death of man before shot effect, Julio is on a roll
05:29 – Julio displays martial arts skills. Notice delayed sound effects
05:47 – racist fight scene, depending on how you view things
05:55 – FPJ-esque thing Pacquiao should consider doing
06:08 – Julio does the swan dive to…
06:09 – tucked 360…
06:10 – upright Matrix shot FTW, now that’s athleticism baby!
06:11 – looks of disbelief, all 3 bad guys get shot in the forehead dying from invisble bullet whiplash
06:14 – Guinness world record for fastest recovery during a fall
06:22 – he used daggers? Why didn’t he use his bullets?
07:16 – OMFG he didn’t start chopping up that stick to disarm his opponents!
So all them small-fry promises will NOT do anything – if at all – unless someone promises to do what Julio Valiente did at 07:33. I don’t know if I’ll see “Ako Mismo ay sisipa ng isang makatarungang patpat diretso ng puwet ng kaaway… saging lang ang may puso,” but anything is being promised there, yo.
OK, I was trying to be satirical but I’m sure that bombed.