A Loss For Words

By in


“Congratulations,” the e-mail read; I got accepted for a writing fellowship to the 48th National Writers’ Workshop, scheduled for next month at Silliman University.  Those weeks I spent locked up in my room writing on an empty stomach, those days I spent roaming the streets looking for a story to tell, those mornings I fell sick, and those evenings I typed furiously and desperately, came down to the letter from Silliman.  That it meant something more than just taking a potshot at a pipe dream (I love the pun).  In a small way, I’m a step closer to realizing my dream of becoming a writer.

I’m not a writer.  To be a writer, my name has to be on a book.  My room has sort of become a wreck of books with the names of writers I admire; writers like Jorge Luis Borges, Alexandre Dumas, Upton Sinclair, Emile Zola, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Joseph Conrad, the list goes on.  To call myself a “writer” would be to put myself on the same league as they are.  I like to think that I’m an office worker who happens to have a fellowship, an opportunity to learn from – and to learn with – some of the best writers in the country.  That’s kind of a big thing if you’re an office worker whose sole goal in life is to write just one book.  That’s kind of a big thing if you’ve got wrecked hands from writing every day.

That’s kind of a big thing if that’s what you always wanted to do, if that’s the one reason why you’re so far away from home.  Why you’d sacrifice a lot of things, if not everything, in the name of the written word.  That, and the promise it holds.

For the first time in quite a while, I’m at a loss for words.  I don’t know what to say, or what to write down in the way of epiphanies.

Somewhere there, though, are people who believed in me when I became my own best non-believer.  To them, I offer my sincerest thanks and appreciation.  Those who encouraged, those who inspired, those who pushed and shoved to make me do what I have to do, even if it hurts.  Those who believe can now count me in.

I can be a writer.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

6 comments on “A Loss For Words”

  1. Reply

    wow congrats! This is great news.

    • dk
    • April 8, 2009

    congrats, marck 😀 you know you really, really deserve this 😀 and this is a break from all the sad entries of days past 😀

    • meia
    • April 8, 2009

    congratulations marck! i knew you could do it. 🙂

    • Jeg
    • April 9, 2009

    Congratch, man. I think you can consider yourself a writer. Youre practically ‘published’ since the Siliman people accepted your work.

    • tina
    • April 9, 2009

    coolness. ^^ all that hard work paid off. can’t wait to see your fiction published. 😀

    • Anne
    • April 18, 2009

    Thank you for showing me your entries before you submitted them. Have a good time Marck and try to learn everything you can. Then shove it out the window and do it your way.

    Enjoy your time to bask in greatness! 🙂

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