Apparently, lolcat is not a cute language used by cute cats to cutely communicate their cute thoughts. It turns out that lolcat is the language of drugged animals who had a little too much hashish.
(Hey, I didn’t tell you to let your kids see this.)
Today in weird news: Acea Schomaker of Lincoln, Nebraska, stuffed his girlfriend’s 6-month old cat, Shadow, into a marijuana smoking chamber (it’s a box, so it’s technically not a “bong,” the way I see it) to calm the animal down. He probably didn’t mind having to taste kitty along with his weed (I’m just saying), but he got the idea from people who calm their pets by blowing marijuana smoke on the faces of pets. Before he got arrested for animal cruelty, the remedy apparently worked; the naughty cat started to calm down after taking a few hits from the (literal) hotbox.
Now I’m not suggesting that annoying, hyperactive hamsters would probably make a good home in a bong, but perhaps the animal rights activists are probably calling the incident a high (so to speak) form of abuse. The dude was, of course, a total dick-weed (so to speak) for literally smoking his girlfriend’s pussy in a box (so to speak). Then again, cats have been getting themselves high on catnip for an entire phase of feline evolution.
I guess that’s proof enough that, like skinning, there’s more than one way to get a cat high. A bit past the munchies stage, even.