Milk Me Baby, One More Time
(Between blog award controversies and breasts… I’ll take the titties, thank you.)
More from oddball Yahoo! News reports: the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are asking the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream factory to use human breast milk in their products, instead of cow’s milk. None-too-surprising news, considering the latest scandal involving tainted milk products from China. According to the report, there are three benefits to the use of mother’s milk in ice cream as opposed to conventional dairy sources:
- Dairy products are linked to diseases like juvenile diabetes, allergies, and obesity.
- The milking process is cruel to mother cows and calves.
- Ice cream made from breast milk is a healthier product.
PETA does concede that the idea is implausible, although Ashley Byrne, a PETA campaign coordinator, has this to say:
“We’re aware this idea is somewhat absurd, and that putting it into practice is a stretch. At the time same, it’s pretty absurd for us to be drinking the milk of cows.”
Absurd, huh? I stopped drinking milk ever since I watched “The Dog of Flanders” as a kid. I became lactose intolerant after watching poor Nelo and his dog Patrasche deliver milk all over the town, while they only had potato soup for dinner. Then they both froze to death in the Church because Nelo lost that damn painting contest. It took me a while before I could eat french fries again, but I swore off milk altogether.
Anyway, ice cream made of human breast milk borders between the dystopian and the erotic. For one, you can imagine lactating mothers herded into the milk factory, and connected to milking machines. While that could be erotic in itself, you can imagine the sight of lactating women hunched over giant vats, milking themselves for the millions of people who are in need of ice cream.
Which begs me to ask about why soymilk or peanut milk was not considered by my favorite animal rights activists is beyond me. I guess the idea of lactating MILFs is a better than drinking tainted milk.