My friends say that I am a walking pall of gloom. Not that I’m emo or anything, I just happen to not be the life of the party. I don’t care if I use 17 less facial muscles whenever I smile. Deadpan people, people knocked dead with a frying pan, and frying pans run over by exploding steamrollers have a higher emotional quotient than I do. Cheery, bubbly, artificially-happy people upset me.
I was a McDonald’s at Katipunan when this cute, petite cashier started beaming as she took my order, and asked if I wanted to upgrade my large fries to that “Shake Shake” promotional thing for Kung Fu Panda. “Sure,” I replied, knowing that I have four options less than what they sell at Potato Corner for a fraction of the price. After taking my order of a cheeseburger, large Coke, and the bag of barbecue-flavored french fries, I sat sullenly on a table and, well, read the instructions:
For best results, shake in front of face.
The flux was that about?
I guess “The Million-Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase was right: “Everything has a price.” A couple of months back when we had a road trip to Tagaytay City, there was this Flying V station by the highway where the gas boys, in the effort to attract customers, danced to the tune of “YMCA” by the Village People. Pump price? More than P50. Sight of gas attendants dancing classic 1970s disco hit sans Indian headdress, sailor outfit, police uniform, and patent leather body suit at 3 PM heat? Priceless.
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On musical notes, there are three things that pissed me off this weekend:
- Annoying falsettos of Leona Lewis. I don’t know what’s up with “Bleeding Love.” It reminds me of the 1980s, Tiffany, and girls with the hiccups reaching a point of orgasm.
- “ABBA:” The Musical. IKEA products, not ABBA, are the greatest cultural exports of Sweden.
- Apple bottom jeans (jeans) and boots with the fur (with the furr…). ‘Nuff said.
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Notes from professional wrestling: I was in high spirits last week when CM Punk cashed in his Money in the Bank opportunity and became the new World Heavyweight Champion. I’m a big fan of independent wrestling promotions (especially Ring of Honor, Combat Zone Wrestling, and of course, ChickFight), and I am a big fan of CM Punk’s ring ability. There was this spoiler that Bryan Danielson of ROH had a very successful dark match win over Lance Cade. Danielson is one of the very best in the world today, and he deserves to be thrust in the limelight.
My shallow expectation: CM Punk vs. Bryan Danielson in the very near future.
CM Punk’s win offset the worst pro wrestling news I had in years: the return of the Ultimate Warrior (25 June 2008, Nu-Wrestling Evolution). Boy, if Warrior sucked before, he sure as hell sucks now. If you can stand it, watch the match on YouTube… I wish he’d just tear down the cockpit door, get to the capsule he came from, and make his way to Parts Unknown.