Love in a Time of Extreme Annoyance

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I was listening to some performances of Shooter Jennings, but “Electric Rodeo” is not the Video of the Week.  I personally would nominate “Sweet Soul Revue” by Pizzicato 5, but I opted against it considering last week’s video, which was “Saigo No Iiwake.”

The inspiration for the Video of the Week is a conversation with an old friend: among the many love songs out there, what song are you guilty of listening to that is completely off your personality?  Oh boy.

So it’s not “Perfect” by Alanis Morissette, “Crash Into Me” by The Dave Matthews Band, nor is it “Wonderwall” by Oasis.  Not “Linger” by The Cranberries, and certainly not “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.

To a probable stalker, the Video of the Week is useful Marocharim trivia.  Just what love song can make this cold-hearted jerk with arteries of stone and ventricles of concrete weep with the passion of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez protagonist?

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You may now descend into meaningless, inconsiderate, ego-deflating laughter.  Yes, the original soundtrack to “The Lake House” is the song that never fails to make me cry.

“This Never Happened Before” is the kind of song that I would like played on my completely hypothetical, theoretical wedding (I had to emphasize that).  After all, a lot of possible ocassions can call for my rather weird interpretations of songs.  Consider the following examples:

  • On my funeral: “Staying Alive” by The Bee Gees.  Everyone should wear tight bell-bottomed polyester pants, and two dancers should do the scene from “Dirty Dancing” right on top of my mirror-encrusted neon-lighted coffin.

  • On the day of my daughter’s wedding: “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.  I am very certain that my daughter will be a sexy lesbian dominatrix in leather and lace.

  • On the day of my son’s wedding: Those country guitar twangs from “Brokeback Mountain.”  I am sure that my gay son will be asking for a honeymoon with his husband and ask me for two horses, a tent, and a big flock of sheep.

It’s not like I’m Keanu Reeves material (though I can imitate his voice), but I am very certain that you have to agree with me: this is one pretty nice song.  But my appreciation for this song is offset if I translate it into Filipino, since it sounds like it could be the next (oh boy) Willie Revillame hit.

I won’t go that far.

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