Felix the Cat had the yellow Magic Bag, Doraemon had the pouch of gadgets, and girls have kikay kits.
A kikay’s handbag holds many mysteries. Like Horace Miner’s holy shrine among the Nacirema, it is common and at the same time strange. For such a small container, it holds just about everything necessary for the social survival of the kikay: twelve brands of powder, eleven bottles of cologne, ten lipsticks, nine lip balms, eight boxes of Tic-Tac, seven mascaras, six eyeliners, five make-up kits, four packs of napkins, three pocket mirrors, two mobile phones, and a partridge in a pear tree.
As a man, I’m left to wonder how it’s possible to pack a designer handbag with everything deemed “necessary” by the kikay. Maybe it has something to do with the even distribution of weight, or that girls figured out bulk matter transmission way before men did. It’s not my business to tell girls how to live their lives, but what’s so necessary about it?
Take leave-on conditioner, for example. Having long hair myself, I think I know a thing or two about haircare. Spreading all sorts of semen-like goop all over your hair in the middle of the afternoon will not give you kinamay lang umayos na hair: it’s all about proper combing (start from the bottom, work your way up, and use even strokes). Or blush: I don’t understand why girls like making themselves look like clowns.
In the end, it doesn’t make sense to me. After all, I’m a man.