Spoofing Lyrics

By in
3 comments

   I was taking a walk last night when I came across a bunch of girls singing “Beautiful Girls” – Jojo’s version – while drunk.  I was just taking a walk, which means I was not drunk, so my senses are not impaired by alcohol.  They didn’t look beautiful at all: you can’t throw on tube tops and mini-shorts on a bunch of inebriated girls and make beautiful people out of them.  Had they been whores, they weren’t worth the P500 in my pocket even if they had crab lice, chronic yeast infections, and vaginal boils.

   Besides, I am irritated by that song.  So here goes:

*     *     * 

You really look like a boy
That’s why it will never work
I’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over
Damn you ain’t beautiful, girl
You really really look like dirt
I’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over

I remember when
I was hanging out with friends
That’s when I caught your eye
I thought you looked like a big fly
Right then I wished that you would get away from me

No I didn’t ask for game
And I don’t wanna know your name
I would hang you from a chain
Bet you wanna do the same
Something tells me you sniff paint thinner

You are so easy to find
Girl I’m really not that blind
Oh I could use some wine
Knowing that you look like swine
Tonight you look this way
Tomorrow you’ll stay that way

You really get me annoyed
That’s why it will never work
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over
Damn you ain’t beautiful, girl
You really really smell like dirt
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over

Don’t even call me
Don’t leave messages for me
Was it your kind of ugly
That is the scab on my knee
Girl you look like a man
You got me in confusion

Don’t take me to the floor
‘Coz you remind me of a whore
And that was my queue to go
So I hit the door
I let you hot
With your body burning in an inferno

You are so easy to find
Girl I’m really not that blind
Oh I could use some wine
Knowing that you look like swine
Tonight you look this way
Tomorrow you’ll stay that way

I really started to hurl
That’s why it will never work
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over
Damn you ain’t beautiful, girl
You even really feel like dirt
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over

Now a couple months have passed
And I still don’t know it lasts
Oh everybody asked
How I saw a girl like that
But I should have really known
That memories last forever

You messed up my mind
When I saw you last time
But I was never that surprised
That the cancer in your eyes
And the herpes in your lips
Will stay there forever

You really turned me to stone
That’s why it will never work
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over
Damn you ain’t beautiful, girl
I want to bury you in dirt
I’ll get you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over

3 comments on “Spoofing Lyrics”

    • Velvet
    • January 17, 2008
    Reply

    Lol.
    That was damn funny.
    You deserve a plaque for it.
    Really.

  1. Reply

    Aubrey:

    You haven’t started singing this song, now, did you?

    • Velvet
    • January 19, 2008
    Reply

    Lol.
    Nope, thank heavens.
    Not in any lifetime.
    =D

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