Ego Songs

By in

   In the spirit of sending the emo genre to hell, I have an alternative: “ego.”  This is when you take the usual love song and sing it in the first person.  Since I’m lazy today after a dental procedure that involved analgesic, I’m posting some of these “transformed” lyrics, albeit just snippets of them.  Enjoy.

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Example 1: I find that “I Make Love To You” by Boyz II Men can be transformed into a perfectly good S&M song…

Girl relax, take it slow
You ain’t got nowhere to go
You’re gonna concentrate on me
Girl are you ready, it’s gonna be a long night

Throw my clothes on the floor
And you’ll take my clothes off too
You made plans to be with me
Girl whatever I ask I know that you’ll do

You’ll make love to me
Like I want you to
And you’ll hold me tight
Baby all through the night
You’ll make love to me
When I want you to
And you will not let go
Till I tell you to…

Example 2.  Like me, and if you’re a guy, you’re probably annoyed with Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls.”  Probably because your girlfriend is singing it.  Here’s the ego version.

I am too beautiful, girl
That’s why it will never work
I’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over
Damn all you beautiful girls
I only wanna do you dirt
I’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over…

Example 3.  Tamia’s “Officially Missing You” is the song of heartbroken fools who think they can’t get over their past relationships.  Maybe if we tweak it a bit…

All you do is lay around
Two ears full of tears
From looking at my face on the wall
Just a week ago I was your baby
Now you don’t even know me now
Don’t know me at all
Well you wish that I would call you right now
So that you could get through to me somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say, baby
Safe to say
That you (that you)
You’re officially missing me

Ooooh, can’t nobody do it like me
Said every little thing I did
Hey baby it stays on your mind
And you (and you)
You’re officially…

Example 3.  “Dreaming of You” by Selena is romantic and all, but it can be the perfect song for an egomaniac…

Late at night when all the world’s sleeping
You stay up to think of me
And you wish on a star
That somewhere I am thinking of you too

‘Coz you’re dreaming of me tonight
‘Till tomorrow you’ll be holding me tight
And there’s nowhere in the world you’d rather be
Than here in my room, dreaming about you and me…

Example 4.  Because James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” is, well, pitiful, it is necessary to make an ego-boosting song out of it…

Yes I caught your eye
As I walked on by
I can see from your face that you were
Fuckin’ high
And you don’t think that you’ll see me again
But we shared a moment that will last ’till the end

I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful, it’s true
You saw my face on a crowded place
And you don’t know what to do
‘Coz I’ll never be with you

Example 5: Emo – the musical genre sang and lived by animal food trough wipers – is best represented by Fall Out Boy.  In “A Little Less Sixteen Candles,” I find opportunities to make it right for self-mutilating manic-depressive feces from the rectal cavities of baboons…

You confess, you’re just messed up
Dropping “I’m sorry’s” like I’m still around
And you know I dressed up
Said, “Hey kid, you’ll never live this down”

And I’m just the boy all the girls want to dance with
And you’re just the girl who’s had too many chances

5 comments on “Ego Songs”

  1. Reply

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Ego Songs, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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