There’s no letter, but a friend of mine just approached me this afternoon to say that his girlfriend cheated on him a few weeks back. Ah, a subject that hits so close to home: who else to ask for free advice than from a guy who got cheated on some years back?
What is “cheating?” Coming from Philippine politics, “cheating” is not a lapse in judgment: it is completely premeditated. Like, Gloria Arroyo didn’t have a lapse in judgment, but instead was planning on cheating her way to election victory all along. No man can develop a 100% accurate radar to know if his significant other is cheating on him: most discoveries of cheating come either from paranoia, or a little birdie talked. As such, your girlfriend didn’t “accidentally” cheat on you. More on that later.
Because no man (and I’m talking about straight men) can ever know if his girlfriend is actually cheating on him until it is actually confirmed, all men should develop a healthy paranoia for cheating bitches: eyes at the back of one’s head, a third ear, a second nose, and heightened extrasensory perception that rivals even that of Jean Grey and Professor X combined.
Now assuming that you already know (or caught) the love of your life cheating on you, here’s a piece of advice: “letting go” is a nuanced expression. I would suggest beating your girlfriend up until she’s a bloody unrecognizable pulp with her then-cute nose dangling by a thin strand of wet bloody mucus, but that doesn’t sit too well with gender-sensitivity, women’s groups, and mothers of all ages.
First of all, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong, so you shouldn’t pay for the consequences. The least you want is to set up a date to win her back. Like say, talk out over coffee and discuss the terms of your relationship. Or give your ex a bouquet of roses. You’ll only be judged as a pathetic soul in search for soap-opera love. Hmmm, that sounds extremely familiar… yeah, that’s what I did.
Second, don’t plot revenge. People make mistakes, and no matter how grave that mistake is, you really have to learn how to forgive people every once in a while. Weigh all the factors in: is your effort at revenge worth the mistake? Heck, is your effort at forgiveness even worth the mistake? On another note, did you make some mistake that led to you being cheated on?
Responding to romantic conflicts is a case-to-case basis, I can tell you. But from personal experience, the best remedy is time. Time doesn’t cure, and it sure as hell doesn’t heal all wounds. As soon as you get over the initial pain of getting cheated on, you’ll look back at it one day and you’ll laugh. It’s a humorous thing: like lifetime guarantees on electric appliances, love needs maintenance, and yes, it does come with money-back guarantees.