I was thinking about many ways to earn P20,000 courtesy of the “Extreme Papaya” contest in “Pilipinas: Game KNB?” I’ve narrowed my long list to three options. I could do any one of the following for P20,000:
- Fire Papaya: Set myself on fire dancing “Papaya;”
- Chicken Papaya: Have a chicken dance the “Papaya;”
- Sex Papaya: Do the “Papaya” while having sex.
They’ve done everything with Urszula Dudziak’s “Papaya:” the Silent Drill team of the Philippine Military Academy just did the “Papaya” for their routine, inmates in a Visayas prison just won P20,000 for doing the “Papaya.” It begs the question: how extreme can “Papaya” get? Boy, Edu Manzano didn’t know what he unleashed upon the world.
“Fire Papaya” is, for all intents and purposes, extreme. I’m not talking about Rachel Lobangco’s Micronesian fire-dances: I’m talking about dousing yourself in gasoline, setting yourself ablaze, and do the requisite dance steps of the “Papaya.” Now that’s work P20,000.
As far as “Chicken Papaya” goes, I had some problems trying to narrow down my list of animals that could dance the “Papaya.” I thought about dogs, but that’s too obvious. Cats, too, are obvious choices. My list included horses, worms, snakes, butterflies, cows. Pigs are cute, but they can’t dance. Sheep, maybe, but that’s even cuter. Now chickens dancing the “Papaya…” now that’s an idea. After all, both fowl and fruit have to establish a good rapport by the time they get dunked into the pot for a tinola dinner. Besides, “Fish Papaya” is a bit, well, gross. Especially when you actually have to eat it.
Which brings me to the best/worst idea for an “Extreme Papaya” video: why not do it while having sex? All 45 positions of the Kamasutra are possible take-off points for dancing the “Papaya:” you can take any sexual position and dance the “Papaya.” Why stop there: why not have a 30-person orgy and do the “Papaya” in the middle of mass orgasm? Again, don’t get me started.